Followed by a stair lift company, excellent. That just about sums up my day….
News
Let's toot our own horns; our new websit...
Let’s toot our own horns; our new website went live two weeks ago https://t.co/qtHNKx8oMI Take a look, what’s the worst…

When you make another beautiful slate si...
When you make another beautiful slate sign…with the wrong number! Anybody live at 10 Ashby Road want a sign? Anybody?…
Finally....our new website is LIVE! Man...
Finally….our new website is LIVE! https://t.co/qtHNKx8oMI Many thanks to @CravenDigital for their patience, professionalism and service.

We used a handy Labrador, a window cill,...
We used a handy Labrador, a window cill, a piece of slate and several biscuits. The answer? No. But there…

A customer question today: "will my dogs...
A customer question today: “will my dogs paws scratch our slate window cill?” Allow us to conduct an entirely unscientific…

Another slate hearth finished at the wee...
Another slate hearth finished at the weekend…. https://t.co/3UDQJp91xF

With a customer requested 15mm arris.......
With a customer requested 15mm arris…. https://t.co/ERsA0yDBcG

A nice T shaped hearth in progress.... ...
A nice T shaped hearth in progress…. https://t.co/NdS9vhIwVT

Another custom made sign now in place. T...
Another custom made sign now in place. Thanks to Sarah for your order! https://t.co/jX6Fvcaqqi

Another splendid kitchen worktop with cu...
Another splendid kitchen worktop with cut-out for a hob. https://t.co/QjXzeZXhpq

And a window cill with a very tight retu...
And a window cill with a very tight return. Look at that detail! Yes, I think I posed it really…

Here's another one we made earlier. Nice...
Here’s another one we made earlier. Nice straightforward T shaped hearth for customer Martin… https://t.co/0eKeq8uDOP
Then you reboot. Twice. And lo, IT'S BAC...
Then you reboot. Twice. And lo, IT’S BACK. Bring on the week! Going to storm it. Get out of my…
That moment when you switch your work PC...
That moment when you switch your work PC on, to find there’s no internet and you sob uncontrollably….

Green slate ridges with a Vermont green ...
Green slate ridges with a Vermont green slate roof. This was a year ago, safe to assume scaffolding is now…
Managing to arrange three appointments w...
Managing to arrange three appointments with customers to view some slate. All at the SAME TIME. Devastatingly brilliant planning…..
A morning spent chasing leads grinds to ...
A morning spent chasing leads grinds to a shuddering halt when you speak to a customer currently in the Med.…
We can make owt you want. Slate hearths,...
We can make owt you want. Slate hearths, worktops, cills, copings and steps. How about sending your message via telepathy?…
Want a price for your piece of slate? Se...
Want a price for your piece of slate? Send us a message. Written in crayon. Or cut out letters from…

And a shelf. Or a window cill. Or someth...
And a shelf. Or a window cill. Or something….. https://t.co/oH3eVe7sI7

A new slate worktop about to go into pro...
A new slate worktop about to go into production! Nice and easy…#backofafagpacket https://t.co/THY29QuNDh
And a bagel. With peanut butter, of cour...
And a bagel. With peanut butter, of course. Yeah, yeah, I’ll do some work in a bit! Who are you,…

It's definitely a "second pot of coffee ...
It’s definitely a “second pot of coffee day” here at Ribble Valley Slate Towers…. https://t.co/pyLV0Pk2C6

And rather worryingly, here is the owner...
And rather worryingly, here is the owner of the quarry. Yes, I think his hat is, erm, well, quite a…

Let me try that again. Here's a photo ta...
Let me try that again. Here’s a photo taken yesterday of the quarry in Brazil where our slate comes from.…
Apparently the use of the word "crap" as...
Apparently the use of the word “crap” as part of a reply on a well known yellow coloured advertising site…
It's perfectly acceptable to quote Micha...
It’s perfectly acceptable to quote Michael Corleone in your company website’s contact page, right?
...hmmm, the capital of Rhode Island? We...
…hmmm, the capital of Rhode Island? Well, that doesn’t work! Ahhh, no Siri, listen: PROVENANCE
Writing words for new website, wanting t...
Writing words for new website, wanting to look clever, can’t be arsed to find my dictionary. Ask Siri for the…

Okay, okay, here's another hearth about ...
Okay, okay, here’s another hearth about to go out. And a tyre. Which isn’t going with it. Yes, I know,…
Look, we're busy too, right? We haven't ...
Look, we’re busy too, right? We haven’t got time to be papping off on Twitter all day like some of…

A new one from our (very) occasional pho...
A new one from our (very) occasional photos of finished slate hearths. No, I don’t think it’s entirely finished either…

It's 9 degrees out there and I'm cuddlin...
It’s 9 degrees out there and I’m cuddling the dog for warmth. Anybody want an ice cream? https://t.co/tkLLjvhFMm

Yes, yes, get on with some work. Just be...
Yes, yes, get on with some work. Just be quiet….. https://t.co/ZXm13c6jTo

There's something particularly comfortin...
There’s something particularly comforting about exchanging dog pictures with your customers. ALL businesses should do it. Just trust me…. https://t.co/9KI60sCPQo

Woohoo! I've found it! #smallvictories ...
Woohoo! I’ve found it! #smallvictories https://t.co/AgThrKIPAa
When your customer tells you their build...
When your customer tells you their builder is about to go skiing for a week you realise you’re in the…

and another already done. Please Mr Post...
and another already done. Please Mr Postman, get this there in time…. https://t.co/ZN8eVi28fk

We love supplying custom made slate sign...
We love supplying custom made slate signs, here’s one in progress which will be away tomorrow…. https://t.co/SJsrl6Di5I
Temperature right now is -1 and "feels l...
Temperature right now is -1 and “feels like” -5 according to @metoffice I can confirm this s f’ing accurate!
Bored. So wrote a nice rambling 600 word...
Bored. So wrote a nice rambling 600 words of gibberish to list some slate placemats….https://t.co/wtsE8gJnrJ

It's so cold in Ribble Valley Slate towe...
It’s so cold in Ribble Valley Slate towers that we’ve had to get “old faithful” out. No, not the wife….…
.....it stinks worse than than the dog a...
…..it stinks worse than than the dog after he’s been in the river. Draught No.2…..
New website coming soon! Just written fi...
New website coming soon! Just written first draught of the homepage. Read an article that said hit it for 15…

Sample packing. Free to our lovely custo...
Sample packing. Free to our lovely customers. And strangely satisfying and therapeutic. Is it beer o’clock yet? https://t.co/h9s3MtKfji
Magazine: "are you interested in XYZ pro...
Magazine: “are you interested in XYZ promo in our mag?” Me: “Yes, maybe, send me an email”. Advertiser: Sends invoice.…

Here's another new hearth we've supplied...
Here’s another new hearth we’ve supplied. This one with ACTUAL flames! Thanks Mel for your business! https://t.co/f1JcYIwJrV

Hand finishing a slate hearth to our cus...
Hand finishing a slate hearth to our customers specific instructions. Always going the extra mile…. https://t.co/USLPiHI5NI

No problem Rocky, you've got this lovely...
No problem Rocky, you’ve got this lovely new bed but it makes a load more sense to lie next to…

Another happy sign customer. At least we...
Another happy sign customer. At least we assume they’re happy or they wouldn’t have sent us the pic? Anyhoo, we…
Erm, I know we've been shut since Christ...
Erm, I know we’ve been shut since Christmas but it appears the sun hasn’t come up this morning. Was there…

Another hearth finished and in for the b...
Another hearth finished and in for the big day! Thanks Caroline C! https://t.co/I5wFXAjraQ

Here's a cheery slate sign. Christmas is...
Here’s a cheery slate sign. Christmas is for thieves, don’t forget. https://t.co/Jb0n5kgISm

Here's one we did earlier. Last week. Yo...
Here’s one we did earlier. Last week. You want one before Christmas too? Really? Talk to us… https://t.co/xlrtcgEDAi

Our slate hearths are STILL being finish...
Our slate hearths are STILL being finished and despatched before the big day! Check out this bad boy. #hearthporn https://t.co/YiTKzSRfNu

Another hearth nice and pretty and in pl...
Another hearth nice and pretty and in place for Christmas. Doesn’t that make you feel all warm and fuzzy… https://t.co/fnxhDsUe4v
And we end the day by explaining to our ...
And we end the day by explaining to our Brazilian supplier how to swear with the correct pronunciation. All part…

That's right, they're f'ing awesome. ...
That’s right, they’re f’ing awesome. https://t.co/BYJhjW2m0Y

Almost always regret taking orders for "...
Almost always regret taking orders for “special” slate ridges, especially mono ridges. But really, come on, how good are these?…
Am I the only person who still uses an o...
Am I the only person who still uses an old fashioned diary? Just about to order a refill for 2017…

Love our customers! "Just thought I woul...
Love our customers! “Just thought I would send you some pictures of our slate, we are really pleased with the…

Black Friday tomorrow! Woohoo! We guaran...
Black Friday tomorrow! Woohoo! We guarantee that all of our black slate will indeed be black and it will in…
Too late. (No dogs were harmed in the ma...
Too late. (No dogs were harmed in the making of the last tweet and/or cancellation of said customer’s order).
Telling a customer that because they've ...
Telling a customer that because they’ve cancelled their order you won’t be able to feed your dog might be “taking…

Another happy hearth customer...."really...
Another happy hearth customer….”really pleased with the slate, looks lovely, will be even better when the fire goes in!” https://t.co/rLn2S5e49F
And here's today's quote of the day from...
And here’s today’s quote of the day from a customer, signing off an email with “we are not alone”. Okay,…
Quote of the day from a customer after a...
Quote of the day from a customer after a custom sized slate hearth: “The wife is up the duff so…

Still plenty of time to get your order f...
Still plenty of time to get your order for a slate hearth in before Crimbo…. https://t.co/fdPU7Ip8A6
Major caffeine injection has already tak...
Major caffeine injection has already taken place at Ribble Valley Slate towers this morning. Together friends, let’s crush this day…..
Customer rings at 4pm on a Friday "didn'...
Customer rings at 4pm on a Friday “didn’t expect you to answer!”. #lovemycustomers #poets
What are you up to? I've just spellcheck...
What are you up to? I’ve just spellchecked “hanukkah” for one of our eBay listings. Beat that….

We're giving away a free natural slate s...
We’re giving away a free natural slate sign for the raffle @whalleycc End Of Season Party & Awards night this…

and everybody has somebody in their life...
and everybody has somebody in their life who needs a sign like this…. https://t.co/5BPBgEqNUg

Some of our current projects in producti...
Some of our current projects in production…. https://t.co/hZn6Jqzvat

"We are so pleased the way you and your ...
“We are so pleased the way you and your team made and dispatched both the signs in such a quick…

One our custom made slate signs at L'Her...
One our custom made slate signs at L’Hermitage Hotel in Limoges, France! https://t.co/DxUQAxZz3u
I intend to see to their every whim, des...
I intend to see to their every whim, desire, ambition and possibly offer to father their children. Too much? Stick…
WTF has happened to good old customer se...
WTF has happened to good old customer service? Or manners, FFS. Today, I have appointments with five customers at our…
So last week I went into a local VW deal...
So last week I went into a local VW dealers, sat in a £35k car, spent 10 mins there and…
Just got an order from a customer who "d...
Just got an order from a customer who “doesn’t do the internet” and I LOVE that! Want’s a quotation…..in the…

Feeling ever so slightly giddy today. Ju...
Feeling ever so slightly giddy today. Just updated one our eBay listings to include new “options”….https://t.co/hp4kGB3R2Q

Here's a pic of Ribble Valley Dog, Rocky...
Here’s a pic of Ribble Valley Dog, Rocky, sleeping instead. The floor is vibrating with his snoring… https://t.co/5el5LkDDkr

In slate news, how good does this hip lo...
In slate news, how good does this hip look with our slate ridges on it? I know, seriously tedious tweet.…
And as for the scumbag hackers, well, we...
And as for the scumbag hackers, well, we wish you a slow and painful ending.
Please DM us here, or email simon@ribble...
Please DM us here, or email simon@ribblevalleyslate or, and I know this will scare some….use the phone? 01254 825883.
For those asking (and thanks for the hea...
For those asking (and thanks for the heads-up!) our website appears to have been hacked but I’m told it’s just…